That's so Boulder!

Sugar Tax

Taylor tries to talk Margaret into enforcing the Boulder Sugar Tax on outsiders. “Why discriminate?” asks Margaret. “Locals,” says Taylor, “shouldn’t be subjected to the tax if they ACCIDENTALLY have sugar.”

“Won’t that drive tourists away?” asks Margaret. “We don’t want them here,” responds Taylor, “we just want more of their money, right?” Margret begins to like the idea while Russell is completely outraged.

As the store enforces the 2% sugar tax, Chip purchases a sugar free Kombucha beverage. “Ok, Dude,” mumbles Norman at the counter, “that’s like, $9.99, right, for the tea, and, um, hold on, OK, like, ah, I don’t know, like 19 cents for the sugar tax?”   Chip complains. “19 cents!”

“Yeah, I don’t know, Dude,” stumbles Normans pestered mind, “it might be 20 cents.”

Chip digs in. “I’m not paying it, Dude.”

“You have to pay the sugar tax.”

“I’m not paying it.”

“Look, Margret says you have to pay the sugar tax. Everybody has to pay the sugar tax. The town says you have to pay the sugar tax. We went over it all frickin’ morning. Sugar tax, sugar tax, sugar tax. Dude, you have to pay the tax. It’s like a, you know, Franklonian law.”

“No, I don’t. See,” Chip shows Norman the bottle. “It’s sugar free.”

Norman hesitates. “Dude. That’s like, so REAL.””